Ungrateful

I'm sitting here at my computer looking at my new little blog setup and reading a few of the blogs that I follow, and I find myself thinking about a woman who's blog I have been keeping up with for some time.  I don't know her and she doesn't know me, but I found her from a website that I was on while I was pregnant with my daughter Avianna.  This woman has been trying for nearly three years to become pregnant and is still in the process.  She is such an inspiration to me.  She knows that all things are in the hands of God and she has such faith in him and what he will bring to her.  Every time I read one of her blogs I think how I would love to be like her.  I think she would be a great friend as well.  Anyways the point that I'm making is that I find myself complaining sometimes about such nonsense.  I struggle with my faith thinking that God has forgotten me and that I'm in such pitiful shape.  I don't know why I feel this way.  When I really sit down and think about it I'm as blessed as any person could be.  I have a loving husband that I have been married to for 7 years.  I have three beautiful kids.  I have a job.  My husband has a job.  We have a home, and we put food on the table and clothes on our children's backs.  What do I possibly have to complain about.  Sure we're super broke all the time, but these days who isn't?  I want so much to be like this woman and have no lack in faith but I just can't find mine.  I pray all the time that God will give me the faith I need, but I'm not sure if he's listening right now.  I haven't been to church in a couple of months.  For the most part because of my injuries during my fall chasing the little one, a little bit because I'm terrified of getting out of the house with all three little ones and having to try to chase one of them with my messed up knee.  I have three children and only two hands.  I can only do so much.  I'm ashamed to admit though that the rest is sheer laziness.  I would just rather stay at home in the bed.  Someone please tell me how to get past this.  I was raised in church my whole life and I believed as a child should believe, but the older I get the harder it gets.  I want to believe like a child again.  I don't want to question my faith.  I've seen so many people who are pulled back to God in times of tragedy and great need.  I don't want to have to go through great pain and grief to find my way.  Oh I don't know, I'm just rambling now.  Anyways to all those who know me and have been missing me at church.  I am going to try to get back soon.  Love you all.  Okay, I'm truly done blogging for the day.  Didn't realize I had so much to say.  Goodnight!!!