Thursday, December 10, 2009

Olivia Rose

My beautiful girl is here. She entered this world on me and my twin sister's birthday. What a great birthday present. I absolutely adore her. I feel so blessed. I'm def over my pity me stage. I feel as blessed as a human being ever could. I think my hormones were just wonky. I have the best kiddos in the world. Kollin is a loving sweet boy who loves his brother and sisters so much. He loves to act silly (sometimes a little more silly than Mama cares for, but not bad). He loves playing with his brother and sister and cousins. He is just a very good boy. Hunter is my comedian. He loves to make people laugh. He was my grumpy baby. I used to have to beg him to give me loves, but now he gives them freely without me even having to ask. He is absolutely adorable. Avi simply melts the heart of everyone who meets her. Her pretty little smile and the precious way she does...well...everything just makes her so cute. My newest addition has been very mellow so far, which is exactly what I needed. We are actually sucessfully nursing this time and I feel fabulous about it. I do feel a sense of guilt however for not having done so with the others, all this flu crap just gave me a lot more motivation to try and we are actually doing quite well with it. Olivia was my smallest baby so far. Kollin was 8lbs 10ozs, Hunter was 7lbs 4ozs, Avi was 7lbs 1oz, and Olivia weighed in at 6lbs 13ozs. She is beautiful.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Almost There

I am so ready to be done!! Counting down the days. Sixteen days until my c-section!! I am so excited. I really wish she would come before then. I'm fighting my sugars and I am so afraid that something is going to happen to her before I can get her here. My sugars were in control, but this week they've not wanted to come down. My fasting is a little high and my two hour postprandial have been high as well. I had one two hour at 199 on Saturday. The others have been around the 170's which is still too high. Today after breakfast it was a little lower at 147, but that is still higher than they want it. It should be below 120 at the two hour mark. Sixteen days is not that long. I just need to grit my teeth and bare it. Anyone who has been here knows how long it can feel though. Pregnancy is one of the rare times in life that time can speed up and stand still all at the same time. I'm only up 15 lbs which is good, I just hope that I can actually lose some weight after I have her. Derek has lost 45 lbs in the last couple of months and is still maintaining his walk/workout schedule so I'm hoping that he can motivate me to do the same after I have her. I am sooooo ready to meet my Olivia. Everybody keep me and my daughter in your prayers.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Almost 30 weeks. Chugging along nicely!!

So I'll be 30 weeks come Sunday. I am so excited. That is 3/4 of the way through. Actually a little more than that because I'll have a scheduled cesarean at about 39 weeks. So not too much longer now. Of course it feels like forever away, but I'm sure it won't be too much longer. I went yesterday and had some 3d pics of Ms.Olivia. They were beautiful. It's hard to say exactly who she is gonna look like. Avi looks a lot like Kollin, but I think Olivia is going to look a lot like Hunter. At the same time though. Olivia's face looks a lot like Avi's newborn pics as well. I guess we'll have to wait and see when she comes out and starts to really come into her features. One thing I know is that she is going to be beautiful no matter what. I'm not a proud Mama am I? I seem to be doing better with my funk I've been in. I'm not doing very much around the house, which probably puts everybody else into a funk, but I'm feeling a fair bit better on most days. I think a lot of the stress has been due to the babysitting I've been doing. I was dealing with a lot of children and it was really, really, really stressful. I haven't had anybody but my own children for the past few weeks because of various reasons and my mood has greatly improved. I think it has just been too hard being pregnant and trying to deal with so many little ones. I truly believe though that it has prepared me to deal with having so many of my own little ones. As a matter of fact I kind of think that when Olivia gets here it will be fairly easy after dealing with so many more. I'll be completely done with the babysitting at the end of the month. I don't plan on going back to it. I still don't know what I'll be doing job wise because I don't know what shift Derek will be working. If he works days, then I will probably just continue to stay home. Daycare would just simply make it silly to go out and get a job on days, and I WILL NOT work nights while I have kids in school. I'm not going to miss out on their lives. If he goes back to days then after a few months at home with Olivia I may try to find another job. Who knows what is in store for us. Only God knows. I really believe that with four children to raise that my place is at home, but like I said, I really have no idea right now what will happen. It depends on whether or not we are surviving. Well anyways I guess I've rambled enough. Hope everyone has a great day!!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

26 Weeks

Well, I'm 26 weeks pregnant today!! Wonderful place to be. My baby should be around the 2lb range and around 13 inches long now. I feel her flip flopping around in my belly most of the day, but especially in the evenings. Avi loves to kiss my big belly. If I leave the house for some reason, when I come back she kisses the belly first and then kisses me. She cracks me up. I'm feeling a little better at the moment. I'm sure I'll have another pity party soon, but I really think it's just the hormones. Hopefully it will all be better when I have Olivia and can get back to doing things without my body aching so. Kollin just had his seventh birthday. I can't believe my baby is seven. How in the world did that happen. Hunter is four and Avi is almost 17 months. My kids are growing up too fast. I can't keep up with them. Anybody know how to slow down the process without causing any harm? Lol...nah, I know they are ready to grow up, I'm just not ready to get old. If only I could keep them with me forever. I know I can't, but what I wouldn't give just to pause time and keep us all young forever. So scary growing old. I'll be 28 in December. Right about the time Olivia gets here. That is getting awfully close to 30. My poor hunny just had his 30th. He was not thrilled about it, but he's coping pretty well. I told him that I was now married to an old man. Lol....gotta love him. Well, I guess I've rambled enough for one night. Goodnight all!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

So Frustrated!!!

So yesterday I was 23 weeks pregnant. This is an exciting place to be, but I could not get myself even remotely excited about anything yesterday. I don't know if it is just pregnancy hormones or if I'm just depressed, but I can't seem to get out of this funk I'm in. I do so much all day long and it looks like I've done nothing. Of course if it looks like I've done nothing people are going to assume that to be true, (even though it is far from it)there just seems to be no appreciation for the wife/mother anymore. No one says this to me, but I can sense it in the air around me. It is so frustrating. I'm miserably pregnant with my fourth child and each pregnancy has been harder and harder because I've been larger and larger with each one. I'm definitely grateful to be having my little Olivia, I just wish I wasn't so miserable. This on top of the worthless feeling I have trying so hard at home and never succeeding is leaving me feeling like absolute crap. It makes me wonder if this is the way most women at home feel or if it is just me. I also wonder if on any given day I can walk into other SAHM's homes and expect to see a mess just like mine or if my house is truly always as bad as it seems to be. I can't get past these feelings of awful guilt at what a bad job I think I'm doing at home. If I didn't have spots in my home (such as the carpets) that just refuse to come clean no matter how hard I scrub, I wouldn't feel so bad, but I do have such terrible messes that just refuse to come clean and it leaves me feeling dirty all day long even if I do manage to keep the house picked up and clean for more than 10min. I thought that things would get better once all the big kids went back to school, but now all my kids are sick. School germs are the worst. I hate to complain so much. In my heart I know I'm blessed beyond all measure. I just wish I could get my body and mind to realize the same thing. Anyways I guess I've rambled enough.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It's a girl!!

Okay so I went for my ultrasound today @ 20 weeks and 2 days!! What do you know? It's another little girl. I am so psyched. They said everything looked great!! She was 11 oz. The profile of her little face looked identical to Avi's!! I can not even begin to tell you how excited I am. Her name will be Olivia Rose!! Kollin came up with Olivia so we had to stick with it!! I happened to ask him one day what a good name for our baby would be if it was a girl and he just popped Olivia right out! So Olivia it is. Rose is in honor of my Nana Rosie. My great grandmother. Such a wonderful woman. She passed away from cancer when I was in the 5th grade. Anyways, I know I don't update often, but maybe enough people read it for me to bother now and then. Goodnight for now!! P.S. poor Hunter wanted a baby brother, but I think he's okay with the idea of another baby sister!! I thought that was funny!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Still hanging in!!

Well, it's been a while, but I am still here. Everything is going pretty well. I can't complain too much. I'm 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant today. Almost through the first trimester. It's going really fast. I don't have too much time to dwell on it. The boys and Avi keep me running all the time. I am also babysitting some now so that keeps me quite busy as well. It's good practice for when my new little bit gets here. I am watching a 3 month old little girl and a 5 year old little boy. I'm also going to be watching another little feller here soon. Starting tomorrow I think. He is no trouble at all though so hopefully I will manage. I stay so busy now that I don't have time to think straight on most days, but I keep telling myself that it's all gonna work itself out. On my good days anyway. On my bad days I'm not quite so full of sunshine, but I try to keep them at a minimum. I do have to say that I'm upset about the whole weight gain aspect of pregnancy right now. I am starting this pregnancy at my highest weight ever and I was trying to work on that before now, but that obviously has to be put on hold. I'm going to try very hard not to gain a whole lot of weight, but that is definitely more easily said than done. Oh well, I'll try to update a little sooner next time. Hope your all doing well!!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I'm having another baby!!!

Well for those of you who don't already know. I'm having another baby. I know a lot of people will think we've lost our minds but I don't really care too much what everyone else thinks. Well that's not altogether true, but I mostly don't care what others think. I'm due Dec.11th according to my last period. I go to the doc on the 11th to find out for sure. The first test I took turned bright pink the second the my urine touched it. Like most women I had to have another test so I sent my honey out for the expensive ones that say the words pregnant or not pregnant. The first one I took didn't have but a few drops of urine on it and it still said pregnant. I of course took one more that said pregnant as well. So....I assume that I am in fact pregnant. I have been to the doc's office one, but they are just going with my last period for the dates. That could be off by a day or two. I'm not 100% certain about my dates, but I'm mostly sure. I decided however not to go to the doctor's office that I went to that day for cost issues. They don't have in office u/s's so I decided to find someone that did so that I did not have to have a lot of outpatient visits to the hospital which would have cost me more money. I do get to have my first appointment with my new doc with an u/s on May 11th. I'll have more information about everything then. As a lot of you probably know this will be my fourth c-section which is in itself a little bit risky. Everybody pray that everything goes well. I would like to welcome all well wishers to comment and I would also like to ask that if you have nothing nice to say I certainly would rather you keep it to yourself. A lot of people have no appreciation for someone having a fourth child. I don't know why. As if it's anybody's business but our own. I'm a grown married woman having babies with my husband. It could certainly be a much worse situation. As is we're excited to welcome a new little Graves into the family. We'll be happy with a boy or a girl. We would however be super excited for Avi to be able to have a little sister to play with, but our biggest wish is simply for a healthy little onw and everything else will fall into place. We are very excited about our growing family. We hope you'll be excited for us as well!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Three more gone!!

Okay so I was gonna update my little weightloss ticker thingy, but I couldn't remember my stinking pin number. How silly is that? I swear I don't even remember making a pin number for it. I would of only used two sets of numbers, which neither worked. Oh well. I have three more lbs gone. To tell you the truth I'd been cheating. Having my Sundrop a lot more often than I should have. I think that because I'm home now I am constantly up and doing something. Making a meal, or cleaning something. I am up all day. Before, when I worked outside of the home, I would sit in my nice little teller chair and I didn't have to get up very much. When I got home I used the fact that I had worked that day as an excuse not to have to get up and do much of anything other than a touch of straightening up and getting something for supper. So I think that I'm just much more active now. At least I hope that is what is doing it. I would love to think that all this housework was helping me hang on to some of my other bad habits and still lose weight....of course it could just be a quirk and I may be kidding myself, but let's all keep our fingers crossed.

Monday, March 23, 2009

General update

Well I wish I could update something exciting, but the truth of the matter is that I have no life. Don't get me wrong. I'm perfectly happy having no life. No drama is fantastic in my eyes. I sit at home everyday with my beautiful babies and I love it. My house is actually clean and I would not be embarrassed if someone stopped by to visit. That would not have been the case a few months ago. I just pray it continues to work out financially. I believe it will because I believe that this is exactly the path I've been heading to for years. I feel confident that this is right where I'm supposed to be. I am actually able to see my children growing before my very eyes. Kollin and Hunter are as big as ever. Avianna is as little as ever, but boy is she on the go. She is nearly running now. She doesn't crawl at all anymore. She says Daddy, Mama sometimes but usually Nana. She is supersweet. Oh well, that's all I've really got for now. Maybe I'll have something more to update soon. Loves.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Not a diet. A lifestyle change!!

So I know I've been talking about dieting but not actually doing anything. I think that I thought if I talked about it to enough people then that would motivate me to actually do it. Obviously that wasn't the approach that I needed. What did work for me however was watching Half ton Dad, Half ton Mom, and Half ton teen on TLC last Sunday. I was watching it thinking...what person actually lets themselves get like this? How does a person just sit by and get this huge? Suddenly the answer was clear. They get there by doing exactly what I have been doing.......that would be absolutely nothing. They enjoyed their food too much and their exercise too little. I thought to myself that if I don't do something now I'm going to end up like one of these half ton people. My eating habits really aren't terrible. My drinking habits on the other hand are awful. I drink at least a two liter a day of Sundrop. Anybody know how many calories is in a two liter of Sundrop? Just a little over 1000 calories a day in Sundrop alone....good grief!! Can you imagine? If I eat anything like an average human being then I consume around 2000 calories a day in food and then when you add in that Sundrop....well to say the least it's no wonder I'm so overweight!! Anyways those stories actually did it. I have been dieting for one week and a day. As of this morning I have lost 3lbs (yay). I have been (mostly) leaving the sundrop alone, drinking water, eating the Special K Blueberry cereal for breakfast, having an Activia yogurt for a snack, having a small sandwich or a lean pocket for lunch, having a small bowl of special k for another snack and then having a fairly normal supper but with smaller portions. I'm eating fairly often so I don't get super hungry, but I'm ditching at least 1000 calories a day by not drinking my sundrop all day. I have let myself have a few sips on a few days. I have been doing 5-10 min of yoga a day. I know that isn't much but it's all this stupid body can do for now. Hopefully I'll build up to longer before long! Anyways, I just wanted to share my small success with everybody. Hope everyone is well!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Prayers for Bentley

Pleas pray for this little girl!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Lemondade Award

This one is for those who use the lemons in their lives to make lemonade, or who help do the same for others. "If life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

Here are the rules for The Lemonade Stand Award:
1. You must link back to the person you received the award from.
2. You have to nominate 10 bloggers who are deserving of this award!

I got this from the very sweet and lovely Tiffany

I don't have ten blogger friends and all of the friends I do have are pretty freaking special so if you read my blog then I certainly nominate you. Specifically all of you who follow my including...Laura, Dana, Katie, Lindsey, Heather Tiffany Snyder, Tara, Chantelle, and Tesa!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

a few more pics

some pics of my beautiful family

A lot of these are pictures of my nieces too!!

So I've been home for three whole weeks now and I'm feeling a little better about things. I don't know how long it will last. I only pray that God points me in the right direction. I think I'm doing what is right, but I still have concerns. I really hope we can make it, but I'm uncertain. On to other things...We've been sick at my house this last week or so. Avi just had her first stomach bug and of course I was a complete wreck about it. You know how that old stomach bug goes. If one has it you all end up with you can imagine the lovely fun we've had at my house. Hopefully we are on the path to recovery. I haven't been doing too well with the whole weight loss journey. I have no self control. I had a plan, but just haven't put it into action. Anyone want to try and motivate me? Anyone? Please? Okay, okay I guess I'll just have to get off my behind and do it. I don't know how well it will work, but I certainly need to try. My weight is just too much. I'm at home now so I really have no excuse. If i could just lose a pound or two a week I would be so psyched. I just love to eat so much. Food is my addiction. When I quit smoking oh so many years ago I replaced that habit with food. To tell you the truth I'm not so sure I am doing any better for myself eating rather than smoking. Not that I'm going to start smoking to replace the food or anything, because I would probably end up smoking and overeating and then I would just be in a world of trouble. The thing is giving up cigarettes was much easier than trying to give up the foods I love, because with cigarettes you just stop completely....well I still have to eat and once you are eating it is hard to just quit at a point. I want to eat until I'm am full and uncomfortable.....I know I know..why would anyone want to be uncomfortable...heck I don't know but there is something comforting about that over fullness when you eat. It's quite ridiculous. I really don't sit and eat all day by any means. I just overeat when I do sit down to have a meal. I certainly could do without all the Sun-drop.....Lord this is Tennessee though...what kind of southern girl would I be if I didn't drink I'm just being silly and rambling so I'll let ya'll get back to your lives. Oh yeah and I've added some video of Avi walking a little bit. Don't mind my husband without the shirt he couldn't possibly be in the house with a shirt on that would just be ridiculous!!!! LOL....don't pay me any mind!! Love to all!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Update for ya girl!!

Okay, well Laura was fussing at me for not keeping up with my blog so here goes.....Life is going kind of crazy right now. As a matter of fact everything has been turned kind of upside down on us. Derek has been forced to go to dayshift at his job, which would be supercool if we could afford it, but we cannot. To send all three of my kiddos to daycare it would cost me $240 a week. I only made $198 a week. So as I'm sure you can tell that would be really stupid. So suddenly I am a sahm. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I never really believed it would happen. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I truly believe though that this is the direction that God is sending me. I kept trying to find arrangements to keep my job and they kept falling through. My Mom told me that maybe someone was trying to tell me i needed to be home for a little while. As soon as she told me this I got on the computer and signed onto facebook....what do I see but a note that Tiffany Thompson Snyder wrote that was titled....It's Okay to Quit. Be Blessed.....I just sat there and laughed. I thought to myself...I get it....okay. I sat there and decided right there to quit trying to figure out what to do and just do what God was telling me to do. I don't know it might sound crazy to some, but I believe I'm where I'm supposed to be. Everybody just pray that everything works out for the best. I'm finding it a little difficult to adjust myself to being at home. I keep waiting for something that I'm supposed to do. Like how I wake up everyday and get ready for work...something like that, but it's just not there yet. I haven't quite found my niche. I sure I'll adjust soon though. Well lots of love to everyone. I'll try not to make it so long in between posts next time!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Stole from Jenny who probably stole from someone else!!

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, "Let me explain the problem science has with religion." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"


"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good.

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"


"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil.

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it.
Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would.

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that.

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him.
How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella.
Is God good?"

"Er...yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No.

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters.
"From God"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son.
Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir.

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"


"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.

Again, the student has no answer.
"Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes.

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student.
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do.

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him.

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not.

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.

"Yet you still believe in him?"


"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith.

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own.
"Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat.

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too.

"No sir, there isn't.

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor.
Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation.
"What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.

"In reality, darkness isn't.
If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester.
"So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
"Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.

"It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.

"Now tell me, professor.
Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith.

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues.
"Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.

The professor sat down

Crib Recall

Baby cribs recalled. Make sure you don't have this crib in your home. That's all for now!! Keep those babies out there safe!!!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Weight Loss Journey

Did you know that what you eat and when you eat can affect the way you feel when you exercise? Exercising is hard enough as it is, I want to make sure I do whatever I can to make it a more enjoyable experience.

If you eat too much before your workout, it can make you feel tired or actually upset your stomach. This is because your muscles and your digestive system have to compete with each other for your energy resources. And if you don’t eat enough before your workout, this causes low blood sugar levels that can make you feel faint and tired.

If you want to get the most from your workout:

*Eat a healthy breakfast. If you plan to exercise within an hour after breakfast, eat a smaller meal or have a sports drink.

*Time your meals based on their size. Have your large meals three to four hours before you exercise. You can have small meals two to three hours before exercising.

*Do not skip meals. It can cause low blood sugar which will make you feel lightheaded. If you have no time before you workout and your choice is nothing or candy, eat the candy because it will improve your performance. Your best bet, however, is a banana or yogurt…

*Eat after you workout. You need to eat a meal that is high in protein and carbohydrates after you workout, preferably within two hours. It will replace your glycogen stores. Women especially need to eat after resistance training.

So, there you have it. If you are struggling with your workout, take a look at what you are eating before and afterwards. Your performance depends a lot on your food intake!

retrieved from the world wide web @ on 1/09/2009

I'm starting a new weight loss journey which I will be blogging about here to help myself and anyone else who wants to join in with me!! Hope this helps.

Starting weight-:( 185 :(
final goal weight- :) 140 :)
month 1 goal- 5 lbs
plan- replace soda with water
cut food portions by 1/3
take a brisk 30-45 min walk/day

If anyone wants to journal their weight loss with me. Just message me so I can keep up with you. I need some inspiration so everybody jump on board!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I'm not great, but I love to sing so here you go!!


I'm sitting here at my computer looking at my new little blog setup and reading a few of the blogs that I follow, and I find myself thinking about a woman who's blog I have been keeping up with for some time.  I don't know her and she doesn't know me, but I found her from a website that I was on while I was pregnant with my daughter Avianna.  This woman has been trying for nearly three years to become pregnant and is still in the process.  She is such an inspiration to me.  She knows that all things are in the hands of God and she has such faith in him and what he will bring to her.  Every time I read one of her blogs I think how I would love to be like her.  I think she would be a great friend as well.  Anyways the point that I'm making is that I find myself complaining sometimes about such nonsense.  I struggle with my faith thinking that God has forgotten me and that I'm in such pitiful shape.  I don't know why I feel this way.  When I really sit down and think about it I'm as blessed as any person could be.  I have a loving husband that I have been married to for 7 years.  I have three beautiful kids.  I have a job.  My husband has a job.  We have a home, and we put food on the table and clothes on our children's backs.  What do I possibly have to complain about.  Sure we're super broke all the time, but these days who isn't?  I want so much to be like this woman and have no lack in faith but I just can't find mine.  I pray all the time that God will give me the faith I need, but I'm not sure if he's listening right now.  I haven't been to church in a couple of months.  For the most part because of my injuries during my fall chasing the little one, a little bit because I'm terrified of getting out of the house with all three little ones and having to try to chase one of them with my messed up knee.  I have three children and only two hands.  I can only do so much.  I'm ashamed to admit though that the rest is sheer laziness.  I would just rather stay at home in the bed.  Someone please tell me how to get past this.  I was raised in church my whole life and I believed as a child should believe, but the older I get the harder it gets.  I want to believe like a child again.  I don't want to question my faith.  I've seen so many people who are pulled back to God in times of tragedy and great need.  I don't want to have to go through great pain and grief to find my way.  Oh I don't know, I'm just rambling now.  Anyways to all those who know me and have been missing me at church.  I am going to try to get back soon.  Love you all.  Okay, I'm truly done blogging for the day.  Didn't realize I had so much to say.  Goodnight!!!

On another note!!

My poor poor Avi Grace...Last Thursday she started running a mid grade fever.  Throughout the night it got quite a bit higher.  I took her to the doctor's office on Friday and they said that she had a sinus infection.  They prescribed her amoxicillan.  Well apparently she is allergic.  Yesterday she started breaking out and today it looks even worse. Her little head is covered and her back and belly look terrible.  She hasn't slept well in days.  She actually is taking a fairly good nap right now...*shock*....anyways bless her heart she has just felt down right awful.  Her sinuses seem to be getting better though.  Onto other things.... In case there is anyone who didn't know.  I started homeschooling Kollin.  He has fairly extreme ADHD and his motor skills are a little behind.  He is a smart child, but he can not make himself focus on anything even in his speech therapy when it is just him, one other child, and his speech teacher.  This gives him a really hard time in the classroom.  It gives his teacher a really hard time too.  I'm afraid that he struggles making friends and in fact one kid in his class threatened to come shoot him and his family.  Think I didn't throw a holy fit!!!  Anyways, after that I said enough is enough I want him home where I can deal with him and give him one on one time until he is a little older and a little more mature and is able to deal with his difficulties a little more effectively.  He still gets to go to the school and receive his speech therapy there.  I was thankful for that because I was really concerned about that.  He doesn't have pronunciation problems he has a comprehension problem.  He uses a lot of his words wrong and he has a hard time with understanding commands that have too much instruction.  For example If you tell him to touch the fish tank, he has no problem with it, but if you tell him to touch the table that is behind the fish tank he will probably still just touch the fish tank.  Were working on it though and I hope that he will grow to become a well adjusted man one day.  He is one of the sweetest kids I know.  He loves on me like crazy and I just adore him.  Hunter is a rotten little devil...he's funny.  He gets great thrill out of saying no.  Mind you he is only three.  His newest thing is no no no...I'm sure you can imagine exactly how he says it too.  He also gets great thrill out of holding out on kisses.  He thinks it's a game.  If you ask him for love he says a very short no and then laughs.  If you just tell him you love him and kiss on him, he'll kiss back, but don't ask because then it becomes a control issue.  Hunter is having speech difficulties as well.  A lot of that stems from hearing issues.  He had to have tubes put in his ears due to lots of ear infections and he also failed his hearing test.  He passed it recently because of the tubes, but it has put his speech fairly behind, and he is going to start speech therapy soon himself.  I pray Avianna will not have these same issues, but if she does we'll just keep trucking along.  Well I think I have significantly updated on my kiddos and I really don't have much of a life besides them, so goodbye for now!!! 


Grrr...ya know, I do realize that there must be authority figures at work, but for goodness sakes. It seems that some of the things that they come up with are just silly excuses for them to exert their "power". One of the new rules at my work is that we can no longer have a drink or snack in our work area at all...okay I can understand that one we do work in the public eye so I really do get it, but now they want us to have absolutely no personal items in our work station whatsoever....I mean why? I get no pics of the family. I work in a financial institution and I don't want to cause any threat to my family by having any would be robbers see their pics and try to kidnap them in order to make me cooperate with their wants, but they want no trinkets, no drawings from your children, no anything. It just seems as if they are trying to suck out anything that might possibly allow us to have any enjoyment while we are at work. Why? Is it really so terrible to think that we might have a happy thought while we are there. They fuss at us all day long about getting personal with our customers, but how can we do that when they are taking our personal away. That's basically what they are doing. It seems they are just finding any excuse they can to let us know that we are nothing and they are everything...gee thanks for that. Okay, I am now done with my rant...I don't normally fuss about my job, but that just irked me!!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009


I found out not too long ago that I was a true Mommy. Not just a woman who carried babies in her belly, but a true loving Mother. Now this may sound silly to some, I mean who doesn't assume that they are? Well I didn't assume otherwise........well why do you feel the need to state it now, you may ask! Well as some of you may know. Not long ago, about three months ago actually, my middle son Hunter, who is three, decided that he wanted to check the mail. So while we are standing on the poarch he decides to take off down the stairs and runs for the road...low and behold what do I hear? You guessed was a car coming around the curve. Oh, the fear I felt in my heart. I have never been so scared in my whole life. I ran after that little boy as fast as my feet would take me...mind you this is quite down hill....well, I was running so hard that when my right leg hit the road the impact was so hard that I felt waves go up my leg and my knee popped, after that I fell and rolled. I broke my elbow, misplaced the cartilidge in my knee, bashed my head against the pavement nearly passing out and had tons of road rash. The car did get stopped and my son was okay, but I have to tell you....that was the worst thing I have ever been through in my whole life. The reason that I say that I am a true Mommy is the sacrifice that I was willing to make. I mean everybody assumes that they would give up their lives to save their children, but you never really know until you're put in the situation. That day, when I stepped into the road, I truly believed I was going to die. I thought that Hunter was going to die and I thought that I was going to die. I just knew we were going to be run over, but I had to try. I always thought that yes I would die for my children, but I always wondered if when the time came I would be able to do it. The answer is yes. I'm no perfect mom...there are usually dishes in my sink. My carpets are as nasty and filthy as they come. I mean if you want to come visit me at my home, you would truly need to give me like a week to clean up. I am normally no super mom, but that day I was. It is a good feeling to know what you are truly capable of doing when put to the test.